not feeling better

Have you ever noticed how stupid one can be? I mean how stupid and idiotic do you have to be to forget Easter? To forget about your family? The truth is I was stupid enough to get high on Friday and forgot to come down... As a matter of fact I haven't decided whether or not coming down is such a good idea. I mean once a drug addict always a drug addict right? I might as well justo plunge back into the world I'm trying (yes, I am trying) to leave behind. The truth is I struggle everyday, every time the world gets rough, everytime I'm bored all I really want to do is get high. People say that drug addicts can't break away from drugs by themselves. I'm begining to see some truth behind what I thought was madness. I know that millions of people in this worldfunction without drugs. I just don't seem to be one of those people. Even when I'm not high on powders, I smoke weed or go out for a drink (or ten). I realize that I have an addictive personality - a personality that is prone to become addicted to things like drugs, alcohol, even people. I've spent the past weeks trying to log what I do to see if anything I do makes sense, if the way I think makes sense...